Jealous....sometimes. Hate.....NO!!! LOVE........Always!!

Sometimes in life, we do things, whose reason is unknown, even to us. We wonder why we are doing them, yet we do it. Those times are pretty confusing to all of us. It becomes a lot more confusing, when our treatment of a person keeps changing time and again, especially when that person happens to be someone we love.

Having a sibling is the best gift in the entire universe. You not only have a playmate, but also have a confidant. Your sibling and you can take journeys into outerspace or pretend you are scientists, trying to find a cure to a dangerous disease. You can save each others backs when your mum suddenly spots you playing around and not studying for your exams. In all, its a blast having a sibling.

But, alongwith this, you also have to traverse a dangerous path in the kingdom of siblinghood - sibling rivalry and competition. Your sibling and you have to vie with each other to be mommy and daddy's pet. You need to be better at everything, compared to your sibling. You need to be able to pull off better practical jokes on your siblings. The list goes on.

There also comes the menace of the Green-eyed monster. You are jealous of your siblings for umpteen number of reasons. Most of the times, those reasons are quite childish and stupid, going as far as them getting the bigger portion of ice-cream.
I know it sounds extremely funny to those who don't have any siblings, but, its the truth. The fights that these small reasons lead to, can become quite nasty at times.

But, despite all this, the truth of the matter is quite simple. No matter how many fights or problems we create for each other, we will always have extended our arms to catch the other,incase they fall. We will always have each others backs, especially in the face of strangers and adversaries. The relationship between siblings is a bundle of contradictions. We always want to help our siblings do their best in all of their endeavours, but,we also like to outshine them at it. If you look at it closely, its actually quite loveable.

I really do pity those who don't have any siblings. They really are missing out on a wonderful aspect of life. After a point, your sibling becomes the quintessential aspect of your life. You start constructing your life around them. True, you do tease them and irritate them on purpose. But, that's what makes this beautiful relationship, even more beautiful.

It's true that when in doubt or confusion your parents are the ones you must go to. They will solve your problems for you. But, something that's far truer than this is - the only person who truly understands you is your sibling. No, not because they might have experienced the same things before, but because, the bond you share makes you a lot more sensitive to the others plight.

When you find yourself sinking into an abyss of darkness, there is only one source of steady light and comfort - your sibling.

AGNI

I love,you love.................but not a person

Have you ever fallen in love with something other than a person? Have you ever felt this almost ethereal force pulling you towards a certain thing? Well, if you haven't felt something like that, then let me tell you that you are missing something great and powerful in your life.

But don't fret. The chances of almost the entire world having this problem is nil. About 95% of the people in the world find themselves drawn to a particular thing. The rest 5% don't have any particular attachment to one thing, because they like everything to an exal level.

Now, I'm NOT talking about things like drugs, alchohol or any other product that can be abused. What I am talking about, are the finer things in life. Things that are available to everyone, whatever their standing in society. I am talking about -

Music - which twists and turns and flexes its sensuous body around the entire being of the listeners, trapping them in its web of melody.

Shapes - that soothe not only the eyes of the viewers, but also provide the soul a gateway to look at life in other ways than one.

Words - those that look real, but when we try to catch them, they dissolve into nothingness, only to emerge once more, in another form, the shape-shifting harmonies of our imagination.

Movement - the fluid story of the lives of millions, portrayed through different forms,just like the different terrains giving water their different flow.

Elements - the children of the goddess, ever inspiring those blessed enough to understand, teaching that raw, potent power can live alongside vulnerable beauty.

I could go on and on. The bounty of the earth, alongwith the fruits of evolution, all our primal senses and accomplishments, all are things we can fall in love with. This complexity at the core of these magnificent gifts of nature is what attracted people to them. These prowesses and gifts are a divine challenge to the simple mind of man. A mind, that looks deep on the surface, but one which is still very shallow. They are tools that we use to survive.

I know I have degressed from the point I had begun with. But, describing the sheer beauty and power of these gifts of evolution, has left me with no words to describe the feelings it inspires within me. I'm sure that people with a love for these gifts understand what i'm trying to say.

Asking why we love the elements or music or words or shapes, is like asking why we love our family. Is it just because we are related by blood? Or is there a reason hidden deeper than the secrets hidden in the depths of our souls? A reason that does not have sufficient words or shapes or sounds to bring out the true meaning of its place in our heart.

When people sat that they have fallen in love with a person, they usually mean that they have forged a bond that runs deeper than blood with them. Its a situation of - 'til death do us part. But, nobody actually knows what falling or being in love really means. It could be - having a relationship with that person or thing forever. Or, it could be having undying respect for them, always. It could also be some ambiguous, inexplicable feeling.

Whatever the case may be, one fact is to be acknowledged. It doesn't necessarily have to be a person you are in love with. It could also be something else. For years of evolution have taught us one thing - love transcends the flesh. It could be visualised in the form of a soul. Or melodies of a harmony. Or, the fluid shapes and movements that life takes. Or even the very words we use to talk.

Whichever way we look at it, one thing is true - most of the times, the thing we love, is the thing we most need to live. Live with. Live for. Forever.


AGNI

To introspect means to be a genius

'Feelings' is a topic I tend to avoid,especially when it's mine and seldomly,when it's others. I sometimes come off as a nosy parker and according to my mother, an agony aunt.But the truth is, I'm not trying to be either of those things. Discussing about feelings and emotions comes as easily to me, as swimming comes to a fish and flying comes to birds. Lending a patient ear, a sympathetic smile and hopefully helpful advice, is instinctive in me.

This is a fact that sometimes leads to confrontations. No, not with others. But, with my own conscience. Yes. The most tiring thing in the world is to have a battle of thoughts and introspections with our conscience. But, unfortunately for us, its something we have to do, almost on a daily basis.

Hey, wait a second, did I just say 'unfortunately'? Wow!!! Back up there horsey. Well, here's the thing that I forgot to mention. Unlike many, I practically live for the daily verbattle between my conscience and me. No, that does NOT mean that I'm a bad person, but just that I love introspection and I love analysing things,people,situations in my head.

"Dreamers start constructing their dreams around self-introspection." Since dreamers are the ones who create the future,then the importance of introspection comes to the fore.This is an important fact that I realised recently. Ofcourse,you can imagine my joy at this wonderful 'revelation'.

Ofcourse, I'm not the first person to introspect and then start any work. All great writers, musicians, sculptors, scientists, academicians, leaders and so on, have analysed their situations and their ideas and their capabilities, before taking that oh-so-necessary plunge into uncharted waters.This we can realise through their work,for,a person, who didn't give sufficient thought to their endeavour,would not be able to achieve such great success.

So, this vital piece of information brings home the fact that - " All introspectors are geniuses, despite the fact that they look like they have gone loopy, while they are introspecting." This means, though it looks like our minds have completely switched off, they are infact running at the speed of light. And, the fuel for this piece of machinery is thought.

So there's some food for thought for you!!!!


AGNI

The Monarch of the natural world

Whenever we think of butterflies, we only think of their pretty wings. It never occurs to us that maybe the butterfly is a specie whose existence transcends the provision of materialistic beauty to the world.

The other day,I was watching a documentary on the National Geographic Channel,called "Great Migrations". It was through this documentary I realised the true importance of the butterfly.

The Monarch Butterfly is a type of butterfly, whose lifespan, though short, encompasses a journey so great, that it is absolutely and unbelievably undertaken, year after year after year.

The Monarch's original habitat is in Mexico. From this land of fiery forests,it undertakes a journey, all the way to Canada. During this journey, not one, not two, but upto four generations of Monarchs are born and they die. Despite such heavy losses, this angelic creature traces the wingflaps of its ancestors,year after year.

The Monarch, when in flight, looks like whisps of delicate earthy smoke. It creates an intense desire in the onlooker, to just lift up our hands and gently pluck one from it's skiey tree. But it also makes us worry about the possible pain we might cause these delightful creatures, which look like vulnerable leaves floating in the wind. But, they also inspire in us awe, at the amount of energy and determination within their paper-like bodies. When people say that big things come in small packages, they are probably, subconciously talking about the Monarch Butterfly.

I know I haven't written about how the Monarchs help in pollination and inturn help in maintaining the balance of nature. Nature, which already is hanging precariously on the brink of destruction, is being saved by creatures as small and even smaller than the Monarch.

I haven't written about the food consumed by these creatures. I also haven't given any special, scientific information regarding these insects. But, the point I was trying to bring home was that some of God's smallest creatures, however insignificant they may seem at first, are in reality some of the most beautiful and powerful creatures in the world.

It's very easy for someone to marvel at the journey undertaken by some of the bigger animals like whales,zebras,elephants and many more. True, they are beautiful and without doubt some of the most awe-inspiring stories of these majestic creatures' lives. But, it takes a lot more than just a curious mind to appreciate the true quintessential beauty of the trials and tribulations of these smaller of Mother Natures children. It takes patience and love for these creatures to take the time and learn of their ever-present, but not easily visible power, beauty and importance.

The Monarch Butterfly is a testament to the Lord's delicate handiwork. It is a testament to all those small creatures, who, in their small, quite, unobstructive way make a huge difference to the world of God's other creatures. They not only bring in beauty to the material world, but also bring a certain peace to our spirits, a certain joy to our mind. These tiny power-packets of the natural world, carry with them not only their magnificent genetic codes and ancestral secrets, but also uplift our souls, as they journey into the starry skies.

AGNI

Pokemon - the afterstory - Part 2

It was the morning of the wedding. In his room, Ash Ketchum was getting ready. He snuggled into his tux and straightened his tie. Then, he picked up a comb and combed his hair. A final look in the mirror satisfied him that he was looking good.
--------------------------
Though Daisy was from Cerulean City, she and brock had decided to get married in Professor Oak's massive pokemon ranch. According to a few people, that was where Brock had brought Daisy on their first date.
Ash moved amidst the crowd of people,in search of Brock. He finally found him getting ready in Gary's room."Well old chum",said Ash,"This is it. The first day of the rest of your life."
"Yes and what a happy life it will be my friend",said Brock,"Soon baby Brock's will be chasing baby Jenny's and Joy's and baby Daisy's will be training for their first ever water show", laughed Brock, happy at the prospect of sharing his life with the woman he loved.
Ash laughed, sharing Brock's happiness with him. He then left the room and was about to go downstairs to join the other guests,when he heard a babble of voices coming from up the stairs. He started climbing the stairs and saw a room at the end of the hall. A few women walked out the room,carrying vases filled with flowers. Suddenly he heard a voice,"Vi,where's my train? You know the train completes my bridal gown." Ash knew that it was Daisy's voice. Excitement builed within him at the thought of meeting the Cerulean sisters. He made his way across the room and knocked lightly and said,"May I enter ladies?" Suddenly the babble of voices stopped.Someone opened the door. It was Lilly. After a moment of confusion, recognition. "Oh!!Ash!!! You're here!!" It was Daisy."Ever since Brock told me that you were coming,we were dying to meet you.Especially one of us...."The girls exchanged meaningful looks.
"Congratulations Daisy",said Ash smiling. Then looking around the room,he said,"Hey, where's Mi..."
"Daisy",came a light lilting,breezy voice,a flowery scent alongwith it. Ash turned around,his heart in his throat. Misty Waterflower walked in. She was in a bridesmaid dress. While Violet was the maid of honour and in a deep blue dress, Lilly was in a baby pink dress and Misty, in a light,pearly peach dress, a colour that complemented her skin tone. Her firey red hair was flowing all the way down her back and was framing her face. Her amber eyes sparkling,as the light sunlight reflected off her eyes."Daisy, hurry up, it's ti...." Misty stopped in her tracks. She gazed, as if in a trance, at the young man infront of her."Ash...."she whispered.
"Okay girls,lets go,its show time", said Daisy and taking up her train, left the room, leaving Misty alone with Ash.
"Ash!! I didn't expect to see you here......I mean I did.....at the wedding, but not here here........Oh God, I can't do this",sayins so Misty turned to leave.
"No Misty wait!" Ash grabbed her hand, stopping her from leaving.
"Misty, the ceremony's starting",came a call from below. Giving him a last glance, Misty freed herself and walked away.
---------------------------
The ceremony went on fabulously. But Misty's mind was elsewhere. She was sitting at the edge of the pokemon pond, away from the guests. Suddenly, she heard a voice she knew she had to face.
"Hey." Ash came over and stood next to her."May I?",he asked. Misty nodded, unable to make eye contact. Ash sat down next to her. He opened his mouth to say something. But before he could,Misty started,"Stop!! Before you say anything,hear me out." All the emotions that she had carefully locked up inside herself, came spilling out," The last time you came here,you were with May. You never came to see me. It was only by chance that I happened to be here that you met me. Even then you didn't pause to talk to me. Yes, we did communicate,but about pokemon. You never actually spoke to me or listened. All you wanted to talk about was May, her victories,her charm. But I never held any of that against you. But what hurt me the most was that you never said goodbye. You cancelled out on our meeting, to attend May's training for her match. You might have been a good friend to her Ash,but weren't to me, not after you met her. Sometimes I wish I'd chosen Rudy!!" Misty finished with tears spilling from her eyes.
" You don't mean that, do you Mist?" Ash asked, shocked and devastated."I know I hurt you. But I never knew this much. I've always loved you Misty and nothing and no one can change that. True, I was very attentive to her. A lot more than I should have been. But that didn't mean I didn't care. As for that training match, I really thought I could finish that and meet you. How was I to know that things would go wrong and May's pokemon would get stolen. I'm really sorry Misty and I know I've lost the right to ask you to accept me, but I've always loved you. If you were to say no now, I would go away,not angry,but happy that I could see you and know that my absence might lessen the pain."
"Ash!!!" Misty exclaimed, a look of horror on her face." My heart would never mend with you gone. I was nursing these wounds all these years, sufferring, not knowing if they would ever heal. But now, now I know that I was only thinking that you hated me and loved her and was only concious of my pain. I never stopped to think of your pain. I was jealous. It blinded me, but not enough to stop loving you." Taking a deep breath, she continued,"Ash, it's been so long. We've both lost our way. We've gone too far into our own sorrows to recognise the other. What we need to do is re-establish our friendship. Then, when we both are ready, our hearts will merge."
"You're right Mist. Though I don't want to lose you again, you are right. So", he said,extending his hand,"Friends?"
Laughing, Misty took his hand,"Forever." Then, leaning into his arms she whispered,"You know,the saying- when you love something,set it free and if it were meant to be, it will come back to you - finally makes sense. Just the way you've found me now, when we are finally ready, our souls will seek the other out."
The two then looked into the fading sunset, happy, satisfied. All was right in the world. They knew, it was only a matter of time.


AGNI

Pokemon - the after story - Part 1

Ash Ketchum was home. After almost ten years. He had left Kanto in order to become a pokemon master. Now that that dream had turned into reality, he decided to take a little break. He had met a lot of people on his journey. But the ones he missed the most were his earliest aquaintances and his oldest friends. Brock, Misty and Tracy were his three oldest friends. After them had come May,Max,Dawn and many others.
Ash had decided to go and meet all his friends. First, he went over to Professor Oak's lab. To his surprise, the professor was not alone. With him were Brock, Tracy and Gary.
"Oh my God!!!! Ash!!", shouted Tracy in surprise. He almost dropped a tray of pokeballs in his excitement. A large smile emerged on his face.
"Ash!!!", said Brock, his voice full of brotherly affection, as he went over and gave him a hug."It's been so long."
"Hey guys," said Ash shyly. It surprised him that he was feeling nervous talking to his best friends.
"Well Ash. congratulations. You did it. Pokemon Master." This was Gary. No longer the jealous type, Gary had long forgotten the rivalry between him and Ash and now considered Ash his friend.
"Ash, my dear boy",said Professor Oak affectionately,"come sit down. It's been so long. We have a lot to catch up on."
"It's so good to be home." Sitting in the Professor's lab, with his friends, Ash found this the only thing recurring in his thoughts and words."So tell me. How have you all been?"
"Well",said the Professor,"I have officially retired as head scientist and have given over my lab to Gary. I am now studying deformities and diseases in pokemon, in my spare time, apart from pursuing golf." He laughed at the look on Ash's face and continued,"Yes. I am now a member of the Retiree's Golf Foundation. But that doesn't mean that I don't love researching on Pokemon. I do."
"Oh yes",added Gary."Though he's handed over the lab to me, he still plays an active role here and frankly, I need the guaidance. You know Ash, if ten years ago someone had told me that I would make Pokemon Research my life,I would have laughed at them. But now......." He smiled, remembering the past.
"So Brock, Tracy, what about you guys? Got any shocking news for me?", said Ash.
"Well",said Tracy,"I'm currently on board Gary's new project-Cross evolution of Pokemon. It's basically the study of all those pokemon that can evolve into those of another element,like,a water pokemon becoming a fire pokemon or a ground pokemon becoming psychic. My job is to monitor and record all changes in the pokemon. It works through certain stones,whose composition scientists are still trying to figure out."
"Wow! Impressive!"said Ash,"Seems like you've found the perfect job Trace".
"As for me",said Brock,holding up his hand,"I'm engaged!!"
"Oh my God Brock!! Congratulations",said Ash,truly happy for his friend,"Who's the lucky maiden who could not only capture, but also hold on to your heart?" He laughed, remembering Brock's days of Jenny's and Joy's.
"Believe it or not, it's Daisy Waterflower!!!", said Brock." I used to visit Misty alot and I don't know how or when, but Daisy and I fell in love. Now here we are, a week from getting married. Ash, no excuses. You have to come to our weddind."
"Of course,I wouldn't miss it for the world",said Ash,"Well, I better get going. I have to rent a tux. Can't meet the bride dressed in slacks can I?" He laughed.
On his way home, Ash knew that it wasn't tbe bride alone he wanted to see. It was someone very close to the bride, someone very close and very special.


AGNI

Dark Matter........a component of space and soul

You know, sometimes when I look up at the night sky, I feel so safe and cosy. True, I also realise how small we people actually are. But, there's something in the twinkling of the stars, the fluidity of the clouds, that makes us feel so special. Whoever said that space is a very dark place, definitely wasn't talking about the patch of night sky we see from our terrace every night. Then again, scientists have discovered that the cosmos is just bout 3% of the entire universe. The other 97% comprises of Dark Matter. Ooooh......sounds like something from a horror movie. Still, even dark matter seems to have a weird beauty about it. There is this depth, a strange power, a force, emanating from its very invisible existence. True, many would call it gravity, but, I'm talking about the feelings it inspires in us. When I hear the words Dark Matter, I imagine a dark, empty space of nothingness. But within that nothingness, slumbers a dark force that has the power to both create and destroy. An eerie silence echos within our ears, as chills run down our spine. Its as though we are in a theatre, waiting for the show to begin. Waiting for that lithe, sensuous dancer to begin spinning her web of etheral darkness. The potent, raw emotions that touch our very souls. I know, it sounds nothing like the truth. Nothing like the science that is trying to undress it. But still, just as it makes us shudder and wonder what kind of hidden power is out there, it gives us courage that there is something out there, something with the power to change lives forever. The raw power, beauty and tranquility of the universe, is like the power play of human emotions. Just as the mind tries to keep our emotions and desires in confinement, within its deep recesses, the soul unbirdles our true potential and emotions. Though in reality, dark matter is just a component of the universe, something that makes up all the things in it, on a higher plane, within our very souls, it is the embodiment of everything mystical and simple. It is the unknown truth waiting in the shadows, waiting to be found, waiting to be tapped.


AGNI

The baffling case of True Love

There is something that has always baffled me. The so called "True Love" between boyfriends and girlfriends. Hey, I'm not saying that it doesn't exist, but just that I don't believe in it. I mean, come on. If you really love the person, you don't flirt around with the very next hottie, right? Ok,let me explain.
One of my friends is in a relationship. Her boyfriend(according to her), is the sweetest, most loyal guy in the world. He always comes to our class and just talks to her about some random third person. I call it granny gossip. Whenever she has to go out for some reason, he turns over to us other girls and starts talking. He runs his hand through his hair, gives us huge smiles and tries to be Prince Charming. The above mentioned signals, according to behavior analysts, are the basic signs of flirtation.
Another illustration. My friend(the one mentioned above) and I were standing outside our college. Her boyfriend joined us. As we were talking, a girl from the neighbourhood walked past us. My friend's boyfriend's eyes were riveted on that girl's ass. Luckily for him, my friend was telling me something and thus missed the adulterous act by a few seconds.
So now you see my point. If you "truly love" that person, why on Mars would you be staring at someone else's behind? I mean, seriously, guys are pigs when it comes to The Bod.
Wow! Back up there horsey. Just because I gave a few examples about that greedy buffalo's.......greed, doesn't mean that the cows are the ideal partners.
Technically, the female ducks that live off the coast of Ireland are the most adulterous non-human animals. So, maybe we should call our engaged female compadre's as The Duckies.
So,coming to the duckies. This girl(just an acquaintance),in my college, is the girlfriend of one of my friend's brother. So, she always hangs out with him. But, what she does, makes our buffalo look like a loyal puppy. This ducky, not only flirts with the carnivores of my college, but actually does it in the presence of her boyfriend. I call it hunting practice. She's just getting ready to make a world record in the world of flirtation . While talking to the other beasts, she nudges them, playfully ruffles their hair and laughs at their pathetic attempts at cracking the humor nut. The one they have been trying to crack, ever since they recognised all the possibilities of "adventure" with the opposite sex. Can it get more obvious than this?
Anyways, the point is this. If you really love and care about the person, why on Uranus wpould you try to hit on somebody else. Oooh, maybe they are trying to get rid of cometition, Maybe they want to be the couple who's been dating the longest. But still, why on Jupiter........
Oh my God!!! I get it now. All this while, I've been talking about Mars,Uranus and Jupiter. But thesr buffalos and ducks live on Earth.
Hmmm........guess the rule of "True Love" isn't even applicable here. oh well, it's ok I guess. Alright people you can let lose those animal instincts now. It's clear. Bon Apatite.
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AGNI

Book Review - The Truth About Me ~ A.Revathi

We all read about the Queer movement in the newspapers. But, how much do we all really know about this movement and those involved in it? Recently, I read an extrordinarily moving book by A.Revathi, "The Truth About Me". The book doesn't have any passages that make us feel guilty about our treatment of sexual minorities. It doesn't have anything philosohical or even something hideously horrific in it. It's just a book about the day-to-day life of the writer. Yes, it is autobiographical. But, like many autobiographies, this one does not have a story filled with anguish. Revathi tells us about all the joys and sorrows of being born a man and living as a woman.Oh yes. This is a book that tells us both of the hardships and the rewards of living among and as transgenders.
On the coverpage of the book, is the picture of a woman, sitting infront of an old,dilapidated house. Not for one second will you think that this woman was actually a man for half her life. As you read the book, you get sucked into Revathi's life. You celebrate within yourself, for her small victories and you shed a tear or two, for all the pain and humiliation she suffers.
This book is no work by a Shakespearean talent. It's a simple book, written by a simple person, with no jargon, no flowery language or flow of complicated emotions.
The thing I realised while reading the book, was, Revathi wasn't accepted by society for who she was, because, society was scared. No, not of her, but of her courage. Scared of the guts she had for not letting anyone or anything come in her way of living her life, of owning it, on her own terms. Revathi is a beautiful woman, who just happend to be born in the wrong body. She had to suffer at the hands of time and fate, for this one error. Other than that, she is a beautiful, strong person, capable of surviving on her own. She too has desires like the rest of us, but, she has to work a lot harder to convert them into reality.
In all, this book is a good read, for it speaks of the unspoken desires within all of us. This book is not just about Revathi, but thousands like her, who are still in slumber within their cocoons, waiting for their wings to form and let them fly.
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AGNI

The Game

She looked at him, standing across her talking to a girl he had met a few minutes ago.
She couldn't understand how someone could get so comfortable with a person they barely knew.She knew him from over three years and still hadn't spoken to him. Sounds unbelievable. But its true.
She had always been in love with him. The way he smiled. The way his eyes twinkled as he spoke about his ten day old puppy. The way the breeze just seemed to make his hair look like a halo. Dark, mysterious and seductive. That God-like frame he called his body, seemed to emanate a power so potent, one would swoon just being near him.
Yet, here he was. Standing ten feet across from her, talking to someone else. She knew that he could sense her entire being following his every move, just like a helpless mouse, enchanted by the seductive swaying of the majestic king cobra. But he pretended not to notice anything. She knew he led her on. But she didn't care. He too was aware of his power over her. But he didn't use it, unless absolutely necessary. It was truly a game of death.
This game was taking a deadly course. One where intense passions might overflow any moment. Him teasing her senses with his mysterious seductive eyes and her pretending not to give in, while having already given up-mind, body and soul.
True, she loved him. But, that didn't cloud her judgement. She maintained a respectable distance from him, while pursuing a stony silence. The only evidence of her raging emotions was the ice cold glare she kept giving every girl who spoke to him.
One would wonder. How did HE find out all this. Doesn't this mean that he too was keeping tabs on her? Did he too find her appealing to his senses? Or was he just a man too skilled in the art of making women fall in love with him?
Questions such as these haunted her all the time. Observing his every move, had made her a mistress at the art of recognising his true intentions.There were times when he made her feel like the queen of his heart. There were times when he completely ignored her, making her feel unwanted. But that was then. This is now. She had learnt not to respond to his wickedly sensuous maneuvers.She had learnt,through love-sick suffering, not to give in to her desires. She had learnt not to acknowledge his victories and her failures.
For, to win the game, one must first PLAY IT RIGHT.


AGNI

To love means letting go

It's not easy being Human. So many emotions, so many desires, one feels burdened by such feelings. But human we are. So, alongwith all the plus points - intelligence, social skills,...... - we also have our negative points - fear of things we do not understand, hatred, revenge, jealousy, love,....- yes LOVE.

People around the world say that to fall in love is one of the greatest things. To an extent it's true. We love our family. We love our friends. We love our pets. Such love is the fairer side of the coin. But the darker side is the one where we meet that one person,who causes a tsunami of emotions in our heart.

All our lives,whether consciously or unconsciously, we search for that one person who will love us for who we are. Respect us for what we are. We search to see those eyes that light up on seeing us. We search for that one person who is willing to get scorched by the fires of hell, in order to save us. But honestly, how many of us do find that sort of love? Wait. The better question would be - How many of us recognise the person we are actually meant to be with?

Everyday we meet hundreds of people. Anyone of them could be our soulmate. We might even walk past our soulmate and not even recognise them.

There are legends that say that each person has many soulmates. Since we are all from that single cosmic force, each is a part of the other. But when the case is such, how can we know whether the one we are in love with is THE soulmate for us? Many things happen in our lives that often forces us to feel that the one we are infatuated with now, is THE ONE.

I once fell in love with a person who seemed the most beautiful,responsible person in the world. That person seemed to like me. But, we all know things can't be that good for all of us. My beloved flirted with every available member of the opposite sex. This is in an ordinary sense too much to bear for anyone. But imagine having to see it everyday for two years in a row. Dear God, was I hurt. I had given that person my heart. My soul.

There are times in life when one must chose. One must decide whether our feelings are real or not. In other words. a crush or true love. But there comes a time or two in life, when we cannot seem to make up our mind. Our feelings for that person border true love. Yet we are unsure. We do everything in our power to make them happy. Especially in subtle ways. We accept them as who they are, not wanting them to change for us. We are happiest in their company. be it sitting next to them, holding their hand, or sitting away from them in the shadows, watching them behind hooded eyes.

That was the case with me. No, I was not the one holding my beloved's hand. I was the one who was sitting in the shadows.

Then came the time of reckoning for me. I had to chose whether to hold on to my beloved or to let go. I chose to let go.

True, all my dreams and desires were dashed against the mountain of moving on. But the catalyst for such a choice was the doubt of being accepted by the one I loved. True, there were times and situations when I felt my dear love would reciprocate my feelings. But what was I to do? I was alone and unsure. Besides, there was the flirtatious posse.

But I do not begrudge my love happiness. I want my beloved to be happy. Even now I sit wondering, does my beloved ever think of me at all?

You know what? It doesn't matter. Not anymore. After all, to love means letting go.

AGNI

Noetic science..........the power of the soul

In Dan Brown's book , "The Lost Symbol", we come across the up-coming field of Noetic Science. Noetic Science is that new, secretive branch of science, that uses the power of the thought to influence things to happen. What Dan Brown failed to mention was that this branch of science was very popular even before it came under inspection. No, I'm not talking of the miraculous things that Jesus Christ did during his time. I'm talking of something that people deliberately shun, in order to satisfy their science-oriented mind.

ESP or extra sensory perception is that paranormal power of feeling, of knowing, of doing things using something other than our five senses, that hidden and forgotten knowledge of our mind , carried over by our soul to the present from the past. If we put the theory of Noetic science into this, then ESP is a more defined form of Noetic science. When we read about magic, we often think of the old coin-pulled-out-from-the-ear trick. But in reality, magic is something that transcends the physical. It is not the clichéd pauper's tricks that is always portrayed.

I think it's time we looked at magic or ESP in a different way. If one can accept the fact that our thoughts can influence things, then, why can't we accept that magic and ESP are things to be taken quite seriously?

Think about it. Why do you think magic spells work? Is it because of the aromatic candles? Or is it because of the Pentacle? No, it's neither. The reason these spells work, is because we put in sufficient energy in our thoughts and wishes and the power of these thoughts influence things to happen our way.

You might say, that by attributing the method of working of magic spells to Noetic science, I'm moving away from my belief that Noetic science is actually magic. But here's the catch. By attributing the qualities of one with the other, I'm merging the two into one solid being - a mighty force to be taken seriously.

The one thing that I have to thank Dan Brown for is that he reminded us that science and technology are parts of this cosmic mystical power. Just as the basics of Noetic Science lie in mysticism and the power of the unconscious mind, the other advancements made by man now have had their roots in the power of the mind.

If thoughts can truly affect everything that happens around us, then the recent advancements in every field owe their origin to Noetic Science. Noetic Science itself owes it's origin to the power of both the conscious and the unconscious mind.

And what is the power of the mind? It is but the true power of man - the gift that we have been endowed with by the good lord - our magic - our soul.

AGNI

Slip of truth...........and its dire consequences

There are times when one must be prudent with one's emotions. One must keep them in check at all times. But sometimes it is harder than it seems,given one has "royal messengers" for friends. Royal messengers - that elite group of people who have taken it upon themselves to announce to the world all that happens to fall in their ears. Such people have a rare disorder known as - "The slip of Truth". It is this disorder that "forces" these messengers to reveal to the world the innermost secrets of a person, without caring about the consequences. The people in this story could be anyone. But, in order to truly understand their feelings,lets give them a name. Any name.

The Peasant Girl was never one who was strong on the emotions front. She would seldom,if ever, fall in love. But when she did, you can rest assured that her feelings were true. A crush would be out of the question, as her practical mind always controlled her heart. She was not the kind of girl to trip and fall.

But there did come a time when she fell and boy,did she fall hard.The Prince, the boy next door. His one love - mathematics. Yes, a genius. True he did play the gentleman's game - Cricket - but that didn't stop him from getting straight A's in class. The type of guy our heroine would fall for. Simple, hardworking and a genius.

Luckily for the peasant girl, the messenger lived near the palace. But unluckily for her, this was THE royal messenger. Let's fast forward all the usual emotions - the sharp inhaling of the breath, the Dewey eyed looks, the fervent wishes of being noticed by that one person who stole your heart -and dive deep into the ripples under the ocean's calm surface.

Our dear royal messenger took upon herself the liberty of informing the chosen Prince that the Peasant Girl outside the palace was madly in love with him. At first our prince was astounded. but then, he dove head long into a stony silence, one that scared even the royal messenger,of the dire consequences for the poor, unsuspecting peasant girl.

The next day, the prince maintained his stony silence and punished his young lover with ice-cold glares. The peasant girl was near tears. What had she done to make the prince hate her?The jilted lover and ice prince had to put up with each other, for they shared many classes at college. Upon enquiry, the peasant girl realised that the royal messenger was the one who had pushed her into the the pit of hell. In truth, it was her own feelings that had been the cause of downfall for the poor peasant girl.

Confrontation with the messenger lead to a message being delivered to the prince that the peasant girl no longer found him dashing and another gentleman from the Physics team had awoken fresh passions in her heart. The prince's anger ebbed away.

But now, another problem began. The Prince found himself being drawn towards the simplicity and genuine beauty of the peasant girl. He was in a dilemma. How does one approach the person whose affections they had jilted in the past?

Still he tried. With all his mathematical might. But the poor peasant girl,who by now had finally found solace in her broken heart, was quite scared of the sudden change in the prince's attitude towards her. The ferocity with which he was pursuing her scared her into hiding whenever he was in the vicinity. No matter how hard he tried,the prince was unable to snare the peasant girl in his magic web of wonder and glory...........and of course math.

Soon the year ended and each went their separate way. But their story remained unfinished. The prince had given up the hope of reviving those sacred feelings in the peasant girl's heart. On her part,the peasant girl wanted nothing to do with the prince from thereon.

Even to this day the prince and the peasant girl lead their lives with poise, pretending that their Royal Drama had not been enacted. But do they still feel for one another? Are the wings of passion still in flight? Do these unfortunate souls regret any of the events of the past?

What do you think?

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AGNI